Serving York County

It is not unusual for one partner in a marriage or lifetime relationship to see the value in pre-planning for the end of their life while the other shows no interest.  When this happens, it can make creating a plan much more difficult.

There are dozens of reasons why someone would be reluctant.  Perhaps your partner cannot bear to think of losing you to death, is fearful of carrying on alone or fears death, itself.  The sadness of dying and leaving behind children, grandchildren, other family members and even pets can be overwhelming for some.

This sort of reluctance to create an end-of-life plan can, however, place stress on your relationship.  It often ensures that no pre-planning will actually be done, leaving the surviving partner much less able to cope in the future.

Before you move forward to pre-arrange your funeral / burial, consider sitting down with your spouse/partner for a serious, heart-to-heart discussion.  The following are some tips to guide you, the motivated partner, as you prepare for that conversation.

1. Respect your partner’s reluctance and, if possible, gently explore their feelings to get to the basis of their resistance.
2. Convey your feelings and explain why pre-planning for the end of life – including pre-arrangement of funeral and burial – is important to you.  Point out that you want to be sure to do it while you are both healthy and vital.
3. Remind your spouse/partner that death is a part of life and that everyone dies although no one knows when it will happen. 
4. Talk about the various strengths and weaknesses each of you have brought to your relationship, and note that doing end-of-life planning for both of you is something that your strengths allow you to do at this time.
5. Assure your spouse/partner that such pre-planning for end-of-life – which is hopefully far in the future – is a mutual gift that you can offer to each other.
6. Finally, let your partner know that you will begin the pre-planning soon and invite him/her to take part in the process to whatever degree desired.

Here at the Koller Funeral Home and Cremation Center, we are always ready to offer advice, and we can provide many of the details that you will eventually need.  Why not make an appointment to meet with our experienced funal professionals today?

More Information:

Why an End-of-Life Plan?

Pre-Planning / Funding Your Funeral

Funeral Pre-Planning Conference

End-of-Life Plan Checklist