Serving York County

The way each of us grieves is a personal thing, and no two of us are exactly alike.  Likewise, we don’t all benefit from the same resources.  However, here at the Koller Funeral Home and Cremation Center, we have compiled a list of books that are available online at Amazon.com and from your favorite local bookstore.  We hope that these books offer insight to bereaved families as well as bereavement caregivers.

I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye

Tapping their personal histories and drawing on numerous interviews, the authors, explore unexpected death and its role in the cycle of life. I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye provides survivors with a rock-steady anchor from which to weather the storm of pain and begin to rebuild their lives.

Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D.

(Paperback - May 1, 2008)

From We to Me: Embracing Life Again After the Death or Divorce of a Spouse
It's often hard to think about, but marriages eventually do come to an endwhen a spouse dies. The surviving partner is then left alone, facing an uncertain future. Feeling both lonliness and aloneness --moving from being a "we to a me"---is a common experience. This latest book from noted grief experts and authors Zonnebelt-Smeenge and De Vries focuses on two of five grief journey tasks--separating oneself and reinvesting fully in one's own life--offering a unique self-help, psychological, and spiritual guide surviving spouses to redefine and reinvest in life.

Robert C. De Vries and Susan J. R.N., Ed.D R.N., Ed.D Zonnebelt-Smeenge
(Paperback - Aug. 1, 2010)

Getting to the Other Side of Grief: Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse
This book asserts that a full resolution to grief is possible, but time alone doesn't heal.  Complete healing requires intentional effort which, to offer complete success, must combine Christian faith and sound mental health practices. The book addresses both, and the authors give readers the benefit of both the male and female perspective in an empathetic way, sharing their own experiences as surviving spouses.  

Susan Zonnebelt-Smeenge and Robert C. De Vries
(Paperback - Oct. 1, 1998)

Traveling through Grief: Learning to Live Again after the Death of a Loved One
When a loved one dies. life changes; and the world can become a blur and can overwhelm the griever. But this book promises that there is normalcy after loss through death and that it just takes time, effort and help to achieve it. The book focuses on five common tasks of grief: accepting the reality of death, embracing all the emotions associated with death, storing memories, separating oneself from the deceased, and reinvesting fully in one's own life.

Susan Zonnebelt-Smeenge and Robert C. De Vries (Paperback - Sept. 1, 2006)

Empty Chair, The: Handling Grief on Holidays and Special Occasions

When you've lost a loved one, the thought of getting through holidays and special ocasions without them seems unbearable.  This book takes the reader through grief toward life-giving healing and teaches how to start new traditions on special days, create memorials to celebrate your loved one's life, rebuild one's individual sense of identity and develop a new sense of joy to become part of special occasions and holidays going forward.

Susan Zonnebelt-Smeenge and Robert C. De Vries
(Paperback - Sept. 1, 2001)

The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss
This engaging book offers a refreshing, scientifically-grounded view of the grieving process, doing so with positivity and laughter. It transforms our understanding of how we cope with the death of a loved one and challenges engrained myths about mourning and protrays human resilience when faced with loss.

George A. Bonanno
(Hardcover - Sept. 22, 2009)

On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss

This book must be considered a follow-up to the authors' book, "On Death and Dying" which teaches the five stages of death (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance).  This book takes the concept a step further, applying the five stages to the grief process. Offering inspiring, practical advice, it includes sections on sadness, haunting, dreams, isolation and healing.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler
(Paperback - June 5, 2007)

Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing With Loss (Elf-Help Books for Kids)
This book, written by a school counselor, summarizes the grief process in a way children can understand -- through 14 short sections covering various facets of grief. Although the authors use the premise of life after death, it is clear that they are mindful of religious and cultural differences.  Young readers are encouraged to expand their awareness through questions and independent thought. 

Michaelene Mundy and R. W. Alley
(Paperback - Sept. 1998)

I'll Hold You in Heaven Remembrance Book
This keepsake book encourages parents who have lost a child, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant death, to become involved with what they are reading in an interactive fashion. It honors the parents' loss and offers help through spiritual readings, uplifting quotations, healing art, opportunity for journaling, for including a personal account of the loss and even "love letters" to the child along with practical ideas for honoring the memories.  Also included are support resources that should prove helpful to parents who have lost a child. 

Debbie Heydrick
(Hardcover - May 2003)

Water Bugs & Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children 
This tiny book is a delightful story for small children about the uncertainty of what lies beyond the grave. Using the metaphor of the adult dragonflies who live above the surface of the water and their larva who live below the surface of the water, the authors gently address the concept of someone going beyond our sight to a magnificent better place from which they are not able to return to tell us about it. It makes the point that we just have to wait our turn. Adults will appreciate the notes that spiritual perspective for talking to a young child who has lost a loved one.

Doris Stickney

Where Are You? A Child's Book About Loss
This book, with simple words and easily-understood concepts is aimed at young children.  It tells the story of a young boy who has lost his father to death, the lonliness and loss that he feels, and the ultimate understanding that his father will always be close -- being held within the the son's heart and memory.  

Laura Olivieri

When Your Grandparent Dies: A Child's Guide to Good Grief
Part of the "Elf-Help Books" series, this book is aimed at a wide age range of children and focuses specifically on the death of a grandparent.  Each page features upbeat illustrations  and each includes a small Elf wich helps smaller children to follow.  The various messages are brief with each page focusing on a different topicand references God, Heaven, a funeral, and Cemetery with easily understood explanations.

Victoria Ryan

Help Me Say Goodbye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope With the Loss of a Special Person
This book is aimed at helping draw out a child's feelings and promote questions and dialog so that the child can cope with the loss of a loved one.  Each page has a few sentences and thought-provoking questions that focus on a separate grief-related topic followed by space for the child to express themselves in words and art.  

Janis Silverman

Tear Soup
In what some have called a modern-day fable, the author weaves a story about Gandy, a woman who has suffered a severe loss, who goes about healing her grief by preparing a special batch of "tear soup." In the process, she adds elements unique to her life and ultimately offers a recipe of useful advice to readers who are mourning a loss. This story is an easy read, useful to children and adults, alike. 

Pat Schweibert